Concerts 2023: The Outtakes
Here’s a look at some of the worst, but also best and funniest moments from my concert year
Almost every time I come home from the store, I have some story to tell my wife about an odd encounter or annoyance. She claims these things never happen to her.
Well, if going to Walmart is an adventure for me, imagine what happens when I go to concerts.
Here’s a rundown of the lowlights and highlights:
Worst encounter
At the Little Feat show at the Devon Amphitheater in Decatur, there was a group standing a few rows in front of me blocking my view early in the show, so — no problem — I stood as well. Soon after, a woman behind me yelled at me to sit down. I had anticipated this happening (being a tall music fan has its drawbacks), so I turned around to attempt to calmly explain the situation, but probably came off more intense than I meant to. I pointed at the people standing in front of me and told her unless I wanted to stare at their asses, I could either stand or go down and yell at them like she was me. I stood for one more song before sitting down for a break, but the woman behind me was gone a song or two later by the time I stood again. A man sitting near me, after the woman left, said to me: “Good for you. It’s a concert. Stand up and dance.” I felt validated. Look, I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s time, but I’m also not going to let others ruin mine.
Worst decision
I love singing along with live music. But for some reason, I decided I needed to sing at the Brooklyn Charmers: A Tribute to Steely Dan show as loud as I possibly could. I guess I REALLY wanted people to know “Yes there’s gas in the car!” But no one can hear you over the music anyway, and you sound like shit if you’re yelling. Valuable lesson learned — just sing in a normal voice; don’t try to match the volume of the music. I was literally in pain the next few days.
Weirdest performance
At the Midwest Roots Music Festival in Bloomington, the act that went on before Marc Ford was Karly Driftwood. This young artist may go on to a long and successful career — I hope she does. But on this night, Driftwood’s songs had a strong “Smelly Cat” vibe — Phoebe from Friends’ song. Then, at the end of her set, a woman in the crowd who had been talking loudly during Driftwood’s set got up on stage and drunkenly explained for five-plus uncomfortable minutes about how Driftwood had kicked her off her tour and it had caused her to get her shit together (hmm …) and was the best thing that ever happened to her. This woman turned out to be Callie Cash (these names …), and she’d performed earlier in the night — we’d missed that. This was the lone show my 15-year-old son came to with me this year, and I’ll never forget the look of bewilderment on his face during Cash’s monologue.
Funniest moment
I’m sure Lukas Nelson will always remember the first time he ever forgot what state he was in while on stage. During a line from his song “Forget About Georgia,” he mentions Indiana and emphasized it in his performance. I thought at the time … well, Indiana is … kind of close to Bloomington, Illinois. Between songs, Nelson’s guitar tech came out and gave him a hug while whispering in his ear. Nelson walked to the mic and said, “I thought we were in Indiana … wait, this is Bloomington, right?” The crowd assured him it was, which further confused him. He laughed and said, “Well, I don’t know where I am most of the time, anyway, so it was bound to happen.” After his song “Wrong House, Wrong Home,” he laughed and deadpanned, “Wrong State.”
It was also, ironically, during that song — in which the singer relates stories about getting intoxicated and going home to the wrong house — someone in the crowd appeared to pass out. Nelson stopped the song and got security. It was a big crowd in a hot room, but I’d also seen the guy with drinks in both hands earlier, so … . The guy was fine — I saw him do the walk of shame out with a group of mostly younger friends. As someone who has a wife 15 years younger and is in social situations with her friends sometimes, I let it serve as a cautionary tale.
Best compliment
At any good show, I definitely get lost in the music. At my second Blackberry Smoke show, at The Mill in Terre Haute, Ind., it happened to me a few times — particularly during the “Ain’t Much Left of Me” finale. A woman approached me after the show as I was packing up my lawn chair and said she didn’t know what she enjoyed watching more — the band or how much I enjoyed the band. I was slightly embarrassed, but mostly proud.
Worst trip
Heading to the Slippery Noodle to see The Steepwater Band in Indianapolis wasn’t the first time I’ve been to Indiana, but you wouldn’t have known that by me forgetting about the time zone change and leaving an hour late. By the time I’d stopped for gas, Google Maps said I was going to be about 20 minutes late for the show. I ALMOST turned around and went home. But I figured I’d drive fast, maybe they’d start a little late, and I’d pull a miracle and get there at least close to on time. It didn’t help that it was raining — not horrible, but steadily heavy. I was making decent time, but the closer I got, Google’s ETA started creeping up longer and longer and I didn’t know why. Then, someone decided to change lanes into my lane and I had to swerve out of the way to avoid them on a 3-lane situation. I didn’t even look to see if anyone was in the other lane. I got very lucky. At that point, I was having a panic attack and feeling like I should’ve listened to my advice to stay home. As I got into Indianapolis, everything seemed fine until I was literally .2 miles from the The Slippery Noodle. It’s right next to an NFL stadium, and the Colts game just happened to be getting out right as I was arriving. The street in front of the bar got closed off to let pedestrians through and I was just driving around in traffic for 40 minutes before I finally got parked and in the venue. I hadn’t even considered that there’d be a game — it was Saturday, not Sunday. But they do play a (very) few games on Saturday this time of year. The club was packed with these fans. All the seats were taken — mostly with people wearing Colts and Steelers jerseys. By this point, I was cursing myself for not just staying home. I kept saying, “Next time, just listen to that voice.”
Best encounter
The trip to the Slippery Noodle was awful, but the show was great. After, I went up to the stage and told bassist Joe Bishop how much I loved the show and how far I’d come to watch (it’s about a 2 1/2 hour drive). He said, “Man, thanks, that’s awesome. On a game day? I might have just skipped it.” I just laughed and said, “Yeah, I kind of messed that up.”
I wanted to talk to drummer Joe Winters because I’d been on a State of Amorica podcast interview on which audience members (including me) had been allowed to ask questions and wanted to thank him for participating.
But I wasn’t the only one who wanted to talk to Joe. There was a longtime fan who had the setlist signed. Then I eavesdropped on a conversation he was having with a breast cancer survivor, telling her how much he supported awareness and research for the disease, and how much it meant to him for her to be there.
I almost decided to leave without talking to him, but stuck around, and he remembered me from the podcast! We ended up having a conversation about that interview, the Black Crowes, what Steepwater had going on and more.
He had friends and family members there to see him and I literally had to insist on leaving so he could get to them, or he would’ve kept going.
I’ll always love the Stones, etc., but there’s something about being a fan of a regionally (and also in pockets internationally) famous band that never hits the big time but is just as talented and enjoyable to watch as most that have. The shows are WAY cheaper, you’re WAY closer to them while they’re playing, and they’re often accessible after the show.
Anyway, I’m really glad I didn’t listen to that stupid voice telling me I should’ve stayed home.