Going to concerts with your mom (or dad, or other older music lovers) — just do it!

Here are some stories to inspire and tips to consider

Mom and I at Night at the Crossroads featuring Marrakesh Express and Steepwater Band at Avenue 512 in Griffith, Ind.

Three years ago I was beginning to see more live shows as things opened post-COVID and my wife mentioned Hall & Oates was on tour.

I knew my mom was a Hall & Oates fan, and we got tickets. What I didn’t realize at the time was it had been more than 30 years since she’d been to a concert that wasn’t at a local bar or “blues in the park” scenario.

Now it’s become a new tradition for us — we’ve been to eight shows together. It really picked up coinciding with my newfound live music obsession the last couple years.

For me, it’s an easy connection, and I think that’s somewhat common among my generation — we like our parents’ music. But Mom, who has always had good musical tastes, has also had an open mind to newer music she didn’t know — she’s seen both Blackberry Smoke and The Steepwater Band. Our shared musical bond has allowed us to make some later-in-life memories I don’t think either of us had anticipated, but I know we both cherish.

Mom and I at the Castle Theater in Bloomington to see the Brooklyn Charmers.

The most memorable show we’ve seen together was Jackson Browne at the University of Illinois Springfield Performing Arts Center. We had dinner and drinks beforehand, and during our conversation, I said to her: “We spent a lot of time together when I was growing up watching Dad’s band play. It’s kind of a place of comfort and happiness for us.”

My dad has been dead since 2005. In that time, my two kids (born in 2004 and 2008) have grown up with my mom in their lives every step of the way. A lot of both of our lives revolved around them, and it still does. But my daughter is almost 20 and my son is 16. The Jackson Browne show was one of the first times I could remember hanging out with my mom without my kids or some other family since I was in my early 20s.

Between remembering old times with Dad, and Browne’s poignant lyrics, there was a level of emotion to the night that had us both wiping away tears. That’s become somewhat of a tradition for us. We both feel comfortable letting our guard down with each other, and I know having that level of trust is something we both appreciate. Our relationship is a life goal for my relationship with my own kids when they get older.

Need more proof taking a parent or older loved one to a show should be a life goal for you? Here are stories from my concert buddy Shawn and my cousin Matt that will convince you.

A memorable surprise

Shawn and his dad, Mike, before seeing Shawn Phillips in Evanston.

My concert buddy Shawn Hillman always knew he was named after folk rock singer Shawn Phillips, but didn’t know much about Phillips until going down a rabbit hole last year.

During his deep dive, he found that Phillips would be performing near where he lives — at Evanston Space. He bought two tickets, but didn’t tell his dad, Mike, who they were going to see.

“For my dad, it wasn’t some kind of die-hard thing — Shawn Phillips’ music just really spoke to him at that age, and that’s how I got the name,” Shawn told me. “After I got the tickets, I just told him, ‘We’re going to a show in Evanston.’ My dad has … limited internet ability, so he didn’t figure it out.”

Shawn and his dad have been going to concerts together regularly last 10 years or so, and have seen Crosby, Stills & Nash, Tedeschi Trucks Band and Joe Bonamassa, among others.

But this one was special. There’s a bar/restaurant connected to Space in Evanston, and there’s (for some reason) no advertising inside or outside the venue for their shows. About halfway through the pizza they were sharing before the show, Mike finally asked: “Who are we seeing?”

“I tell him, ‘Shawn Phillips,’ and his face just freezes, and he starts tearing up,” Shawn said. “He says, ‘Oh my God, thank you.’”

Shawn, Shawn and Mike.

Phillips, 81, is considered an under-the-radar genius from the 1960s and ‘70s. He taught guitar techniques to Joni Mitchell, then worked with Donovan, and eventually the Beatles. He sang background on “Lovely Rita,” and taught George Harrison the sitar.

Following Phillips’ one-man show, Shawn and Mike waited back while Phillips met with fans. They were the last fans to approach him.

“I tell him, ‘You’re the guy I’m named after and this is my dad, who is a lifelong fan,’” Shawn said. “Then I said, ‘Oh, and by the way, are you the one who taught George Harrison how to play the sitar?’

“And he said, ‘I did!’ Then he goes on this long story about teaching George Harrison sitar — hanging out with the Beatles, Clapton and Dylan.

“It was great. He sat there and shot the shit with us. We had a great time. For my dad … to get to meet him, it couldn’t have been better.”

Bonding through music

Matt and John

When my cousin Matt Brewer first met the man who later became his step-dad, he wasn’t happy. Matt was done with step-dads.

“But this guy had one thing going for him,” Matt said. “He was a DJ at a local radio station and he liked to go to concerts.”

“This guy,” John, said he could get tickets to the Illinois State Fairgrounds to see Starship and the Outfield (it was 1986), and 11-year-old Matt could bring a friend. Toward the end of the concert, Matt’s mom let Matt and his friend wander toward the stage. As they stood on their tiptoes trying to get a better look, two women ended up letting them sit on their shoulders.

“We were running back to our seats to tell our amazing story to my mom and her cool new boyfriend!” Matt said.

Five years later, John married Matt’s mom, Viki. Times weren’t always easy as Matt progressed through his teen years, but eventually they became close. John means a lot to Matt, and music is a big part of their bond.

In 2006, Matt made John a CD with Irish rockers Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphys on it. John liked it, so Matt got them tickets to see Flogging Molly in Champaign.

The venue (the Canopy Club) was packed and everyone was standing and dancing.

“Matt and I were really enjoying the show when a spontaneous, swirling mosh pit started next to Matt,” John said. “I had seen them before on TV but never saw one in person. The next thing I know, Matt got sucked into the mosh pit and disappeared out of sight.

“I thought: Oh crap what should I do? I started getting worried, but after about a minute, the mosh pit spit Matt out as quickly as it sucked him in. When I realized he didn’t have any broken bones, we laughed our tails off!”

Matt and John have been to several shows through the years, including Kool & the Gang, Tom Petty and Steve Winwood, and Journey.

Best practices

Shawn’s story sent me down the rabbit hole to see if I could have a similar experience with Justin Hayward of the Moody Blues. He’s going to be in St. Louis in December. But there was no meet and greet, and … $90 for nosebleeds to see Justin Hayward isn’t in my budget. Mom agreed.

But Mom and I decided to share the fun recently with my Aunt Pam and Uncle Mike — we saw John Fogerty and George Thorogood. It was a fun night I know we’ll all always remember.

Mom, Aunt Pam, Uncle Mike and I at the Family Arena in St. Charles to see John Fogerty and George Thorogood.

Between that night, the many nights with my mom and some advice from others, I came up with a list of some things to consider when taking older music lovers to shows.

Consider parking

It’s always important to know where you’re going to park, but it becomes crucial when mobility is an issue. Even at venues with handicap spots, there often aren’t enough for everyone.

The best bet is to spend extra if you can on parking when you buy the ticket. And if that’s not an option, get there early — like, really early. It’s better to sit and wait than ruin someone’s experience with a grueling walk.

Get a good seat

Standing for three or four hours isn’t an option for most 70-year-olds. If it’s not a seated show, I’d avoid it if you’re bringing someone who can’t stand for long periods.

At some shows, people will stand even if they have seats. If the older person can stand most of the time but just needs to sit to rest here and there, it’s not an issue. But if they need to sit the whole time, it’s smart to find front rows.

At shows in the lawn or anywhere you bring your own chair, get there early. Spots aren’t just going to open up for you if you arrive late.

Avoid stairs

Depending on the venue, you can’t always avoid stairs. But as my mom will tell you, they can be a challenge for bad knees.

Be patient

Leave extra early and give yourself plenty of time at each stop. Avoid being in a hurry. Whether you’re going with an older person or not, it’s always better to be one of the first people there than the last.

Where patience can really come in is leaving. Accept that it’s going to take awhile and take your time. It can be easy to get in a rush, but if you want to keep it a good experience for them, make it as easy as possible.

Got any additional tips, or want to share your own experience taking a parent to shows, leave a comment!